Remembering A Loved One On Her Anniversary

Today is my daughter Yam's 1st death anniversary. How time flies. But to say we've gone over the hump over her loss is not being accurate and honest.

I also felt it right to remember her in as graceful a way I and my family can. So, I am reprinting here a letter I wrote to friends a week after Yam was born in 1995. We were ecstatic then. Here it goes:

"It's Yamyam. Not Yam as many, including myself, expected. Janice (my elder daughter) always wanted the baby to be named Yamyam if a she and Yam if a he (it later became more convenient and fun to call her Yam). If you are wondering why Yamyam, it is because yam is Emma's (my wife) most notable rootcrop. It was her study of yam that earned her an international scholarship grant to pursue a doctorate. (And Yam was born when that doctorate was just completed).

"Yamyam's coming was a drama by itself. October 17 was Janice's birthday and the family had a relaxed day. The night before, we had dinner with friends at home. After dinner, I brought a couple of guests (Edwin and Vangie) to the bus station, then was back and watched TV till midnight. At 5 early morning the following day, I was awakened by the doctor of yam complaining of stomach cramps. Since we didn't expect the baby to come out this soon, we dilly-dallied in our morning rituals but were still fortunate to leave house at 6:45am.

"Our drive to Baguio General Hospital was colored by moans and groans from the yam doctor who was sprawled on the back of the car with only Joseph by her side (Doctors of yam simply can't treat themselves). John and Janice (12 and 4 yrs old then) both sat on the front seat. We dropped the boys at the jeepney station to their school, then drove away and reached the hospital at 7:30. We rushed to the emergency room, then went through the usual questions of 'Ano pangalan nyo, edad, tirahan, trabaho' and all that stuff.

We weren't finished answering routine questions when Emma was rushed on a stretcher to the delivery room. Janice and I scampered to follow, leaving behind the medical clerk who just lost a precious client (we later realized my wife's sandals were left there too and got lost forever). By the door of the delivery room, we waited, peeped, eavesdropped and within minutes, the first cry of Yamyam filled and reverberated around the room. We faintly heard the accompanying sigh of relief from the doctor of yam. It was 7:50am, October 18, 1995.

"As Yamyam saw the light of day, the drama continues with smaller, unnoticed acts outside the delivery room. Children below 7 were not allowed inside the hospital, but there was Janice riding by her Dad's hips who, in turn, was going to and fro the hospital corridors, attending to every minute things which mother and child needed. Hospital attendants and patients passing by curiously stared at father and daughter clutched on to each other, carrying at times a bag of medical supplies, the next time a bag of baby outfits, and still the next time a bag of goodies.

"We know you are just as happy to hear this first episode. The longer drama of sleepless nights of caring, caressing and occasional races on who should hold or sleep beside the baby has just come. This is the current attraction. There is more to come."

In hindsight, I am struck with the last paragraph I wrote 13 and a half years ago. It reminds me of this saying: "When I was born, I was crying and everyone around was smiling. When I die, everyone around me will be crying while I Iay down smiling." I believe my daughter Yam died a year ago smiling in her heart - having lived a short but good life, fought a good but losing fight, and left us in tears but thankful we had her for a full 12 and a half years.

To our dear, lovely Yam, we miss you, but we feel comforted that you are in the best of hands.

A Welcome Ornithological Phenomenon

At 4:00pm on April 6,.my son John noticed a beautiful green bird perched on our shaded clothesline. Appreciating its beauty, he called his brother Joseph and they took pictures of the parrot-like bird. It is resplendent in its cool and soothing shades of green.

After a few photo shots, the bird flew some feet away to the steel backdoor. It perched on the black-painted steel grills, some 9 feet from the floor. It was so tame and it was never intimidated
by our raucous presence.

To test whether or not its welcoming attitude is authentic, I climbed up the steel door and came a foot near it. The beautiful creature didn't budge. It warmly obliged to the camera clicks and the soft wows of the group.

In no time, the family became superstitious. John ventured, "Could the bird be Yam?", noting the diverse shades of green which was Yam's favorite color. How come it suddenly appeared at a time when we were preparing to visit Yam's grave? Any message being sent through the bird? Or is this meek and elegant member of the aves a reincarnation of the lively and lovely Yam?

For the past week, Yam didn't have her usual flowers since Mom had a trip to Manila. We were readying ourselves to go there for an afternoon walk and to bring some fresh flowers. It was also an opportune time for the visit of a long-time friend from Baguio who just arrived a day before.

Whatever, this green creature's visit is just so pleasurable and soothing. Superstitious or not.

John Ryan "JR" de Guzman

I occasionally watch the Richard Gomez-hosted game-show, "Family Feud". But today's show was extra-special because the challenger team was headed by a special person - John Ryan "JR" de Guzman from Pampanga.

I first met JR de Guzman on September 30, 2006. At that time, our daughter Yam just had her bone marrow transplant and it would take about 14 days for her new marrow to produce her own blood. She needed massive blood transfusion and we were scouring the whole of Metro Manila for friends and acquaintances who could donate blood. My son John, a member of the Alpha Phi Omega (APO) Fraternity, got hold of an APO directory that included the members' contact numbers. He texted more than 50 of them.

Among the few who responded was JR. He braved the aftermath of typhoon Milenyo and travelled all the way from Pampanga to Asian Hospital in Muntinlupa to donate his life-saving blood to a child he doesn't know. He arrived at about lunch time, lined up for screening with other potential donors, and eventually had platelet extraction through an apheresis machine by evening time. His travel, queueing, screening, waiting and extraction took him more than 14 hours. We had him in for the night where we were staying and that time served as our only bonding time. After breakfast the following day, we brought him to SM-North Edsa where he waited for his bus back home.

JR and my son John maintained communication after that. When Yam passed away, we informed him about the loss of his "kadugo". Though we never had the opportunity to be close to each other, we always felt a special affinity to him.

So, when John mentioned that JR and his family will challenge the family that won Php1.65M in Family Feud, we were excited. I came home early and didn't get out of the house anymore to make sure I watched the episode. And I didn't regret. The de Guzman family won handily over the Grande family. And they won the Php150k jackpot in a dramatic fashion - scoring exactly the last 10 points needed to win the jackpot at the last question.

The de Guzmans return tomorrow (March 12) to defend their crown, and hopefully to win more in the game. We're happy for JR and his family. Above all, we're happy to see on-TV-screen a person who helped extend the life of a child he didn't know - our daughter, Yam.

Thanks and thanks again, JR. May you have a fruitful, happy life.

UBUWUTKZBBQL

Francis M

When news about Francis Magalona having leukemia broke out last August, I was one among many who followed the development on his condition. By October, I began to regularly peek into his multiply sites, "A Free Mind" and "FrancisM's Happy Battle". After he spent 43 days in the hospital going through chemotherapy and battling sepsis, septic shock and pneumonia, I was so happy to read that he was discharged for Christmas at home.

In early January, his wife Pia read practically all the postings in this site, wading though Yam's own battle with the same type of leukemia that her husband is battling. We communicated a few times and encouraged each other in our own predicament.

Last Friday, I overheard Francis' name mentioned in a noon-time news flash. I was saddened to know his body gave up. I was hoping he'd get through homeopathic stem cell transplant (bone marrow transplant) that may cure his blood disorder.

Today, as I read through the transcript of Ricky Lo's interview with Pia, I immediately had goose bumps. Deja vu. Yet, lessons learned form such an ordeal are enough to propel each family member to face life, better armed and better equipped.

Good bye Francis, yo!!! You'll meet Yam where you go, yeah!!!

Family Visits Baguio City

After more than 2 years, we were able to visit with our families in Baguio City with two of our kids, Joseph and Janice. Arriving at 2am on Saturday (Jan 17), we stayed at our house along Military Cut-Off where my wife's siblings and 75-year old father live in a compound.

We took time to go around on Saturday morning. We walked to UP-Baguio Campus which is less than a kilometer from home, then to SM. We had lunch at Barrio Fiesta where woodcarvings of few dignitaries were displayed as decors. In the evening, we had dinner with my relatives at brother Julius' home. On Sunday morning, wife and I went to Burnham Park for a walk, looked for everlasting seeds at Marbay, then went home for lunch with my wife's siblings.

In the afternoon, we were privileged to attend the wedding of Edward and Malou who both are children of old time friends. It was a garden wedding held at the Bells Ampitheater, Camp John Hay. Reception was at Baguio Country Club. Decors were beautiful plants and flowers in vases which were given away to guests. I saw strawberry plants with a couple of fruits as part of the table decors.

I've witnessed a lot of weddings but this one moved me to tears at intervals. I guess many in the audience had similar reactions - but not necessarily at parts that moved me. I don't know but it seems there is always strong, mixed feelings at the thought of a father giving away her daughter to a man who is going to be loved more by his daughter, and for a mother to see her son cleave to a woman whom his son will love more than her. But such is the circle of life that must go on if we are to perpetuate our family lineage.

And I guess that's what this family visit was for - to reconnect with our roots and make sure that we know other parts of our family tree, as our family lineage perpetuates.

For photographs of this visit, click HERE.