Christmas at DMC

My daughter Janice and I were privileged to enjoy a unique Christmas Party at the Davao Medical Center on December 19. The party was organized by Kythe Foundation workers, Xai and Shiena, with some assistance from some organizations and individuals.

Of course, everyone expects a Christmas party to consist of gifts, lots of food and of course lots of fun. There was an abundance of all these, and more.

Initially, the party was planned for pediatric patients (and their parents). But the sufficient donations enabled the organizers to expand the participation to patients in other wards (in fact to three floors).

The party started by giving gifts to pediatric patients in the third floor, then feeding them and their parents with lugaw, ice cream, cotton candy and juice. Janice and I were privileged to serve juice to a long queue of kids and their parents.

With sufficient supply of food and juice, the party overflowed to other charity wards in the second and then the first floor. A sizable number of patients, their "bantay" and hospital workers partook of the party food amidst laughters, smiles and bantering so characteristic of the season's meaning of love and giving.

(I will post pictures as soon as I have the files with me)

Survivors Day at DMC

For the past few years, a day was set aside to celebrate life with pediatric cancer patients at the Davao Medical Center. The day, called Survivors' Day, was done on December 8, 2008. Pediatric cancer survivors gathered for a party, games, food and capped by a mini-concert in the evening. There was a pictorial exhibit intended to heighten awareness on cancer and obtain support to the cancer-related programs of the hospital.

We were privileged to be part of the celebration in our own simple way. It was a joy to see how survivors bonded with each other and how parents, medical workers, groups and individuals join hands to do whatever they can to alleviate the plight of cancer patients.

Obviously, the hospital administration threw its very strong support to the team of pediatric cancer doctors (Drs. Mae Dolendo, Jeannie Ong and Grace Pecson) and other medical workers. Kythe, a private foundation, has a couple of ladies assigned to provide organized care-work. A number of civic organizations and individuals had always been ready to lend never fail to lend support.

John Remembers Yam

A few days after Yam's 13th birthday, her elder brother John remembers her with a blog. John was the stem cell donor to Yam's bone marrow transplant in September 2006. He first made his blood donation to her maternal grandmother in 1998 when he was barely 15. He had been donating blood whenever he can.

John's blog about Yam can be accessed HERE.

Or, you can type this link: http://rjvb.blog.friendster.com/2008/10/thirteen/

Beautiful Memories Can't Fill the Void

Today would have been Yam's 13th birthday. Instead, this day starts the 7th month after she passed away. Yesterday was her 6th month anniversary.

As I woke up this morning, streams of beautiful memories cascaded through my mind and pinched my heart. This day would have started with noisy birthday greetings to our dear "bunso". Since today is a Saturday, we should be endlessly debating on what to do for the rest of the day - where to have a great meal, whether to go to the mall or to the beach or a mountain resort - on top of Yam's usual simple party with her friends.

Last night, Uncle Cito and Aunt Demi emailed from San Diego, California the pictures on this post. It is the jersey of their daughter (my cousin) Liza who joined a full 26-mile marathon to raise funds for a cause. Printing Yam's name on her jersey is a soothing gesture and a loving remembrance to a lost loved one. Printing her name in green - Yam's favorite color - is a bonus.

Memories now flash in torrents, so pleasant, so lovely, so joyful, so beautifully moving - her distinctive laughter, her matchless smirk, inimitable wit and irreplaceable humor, to name a few. They all bounce back and reverberate, so fresh and evergreen. Yet these memories, however pleasant, just couldn't fill the void left by such a loving child.

The void is so stark, one could easily be gobbled up in its emptiness. But in this seeming desolation are flickers of bright light shone by the caring hearts of countless friends and relatives. And in a very special way, friends we gained because of Yam.

We no longer could cuddle our lovely daughter, hear her peals of laughter, laugh at her witty humor, smile at her occasional naughty acts and bask at her small achievements. But we live on, at ease with her memories and the recollection at how much she was loved by lots of caring hearts. Thanks Yam for the beautiful memories, thanks to all our friends and relatives for your love and care.

The void? It makes us whole.

Overcoming Grief

(I started to write this piece many months back. For some reasons, I just couldn't complete it. Sometimes it takes time to understand your own feelings. I still couldn't say that I fully understand this phenomenon of grief. After all, our learning is a continuing process and is influenced by multiple events)

Experts say that when you lose a loved one, you grieve through stages. These are:

1. Shock and numbness, wherein events seem to lose their importance after the death of a loved one. This stage is nature's way of enabling you to do things necessary to carry on.

2. Emotional turmoil, where extremes of emotion are commonly felt throughout the bereavement. The emotional support, sympathetic ears and reassuring words of friends and loved ones may be most needed.

3. Emptiness, where you face the loneliness that follows death. The care of other people are a major help in your need and where ties with family and friends are important.

4. Acceptance. In due time, renewed zest for life will follow bereavement and grief. Life will regain its spark, and you will be on an even keel again.

When Yam peacefully died in her sleep months ago, the family was unusually calm. Clasped into each other's hands, we surrounded her as the medical staff documented the event. Being around an ill person who has become unresponsive to medication prepares you for the inevitable. And watching her deteriorate daily led us to expect this natural conclusion.

But, unusually calm? Perhaps it was more apt to say we were numbed. Knowing that this event is going to happen provided us the cushion to avert the shock. The usual events that follow death like the wake and the funeral were emotionally profound. I believe they are necessary for the whole family to experience as they signify the completion of the cycle of birth to death. The funeral is a public act of finality to a loved one's physical presence.

To signify closure to this event, each member of our family not only threw into the grave a select flower or two, but spaded soil into the grave to bury and lay to rest the loved one who died.

I believe we need not overcome grief in the sense that we conquer it. The void in one's life caused by the departure of a loved can never be filled by anyone. This is why overcoming grief, to me, is best achieved by living with it, finding its meaning and not allowing it to rule or ruin your life. Grief due to the loss of a loved one is part of life. Recognizing it at such makes you whole.