Christmas Minus a Loved One

Christmas is merry as one should make it. After all, Christians commemorate Christ's birth during this season. By tradition, it is a season of giving, no matter how much commercialization has been coupled to it.

During this season, Filipino families make sure that they gather together. Extended families likewise gather among households during these days. We also did. Our sons working in Polomolok and Makati, and daughter who studies at Diliman were all with us. We hosted for 3 days a relative (Stephanie) who settled with her family in Vegas. And we took time to visit our only relative (wife side) residing in Davao.

But this Christmas was different. We missed Yam so very, very much. But we didn't allow ourselves to sulk in a corner feeling sorry for ourselves. We visited Yam's tomb to honor her and to thank our great God who assured eternal life, for her and to us, in His own time.

In response to a friend who is a fan of Yam: "Grief is a long process. But it's not something we ought to deny but something to recognize and embrace. It shouldn't slow us nor drag us down but should be discerned for all it's worth. Grief is not about misfortune - it is about living life well. Life has its seasons, and seasons have their reasons."

Christmas at DMC

My daughter Janice and I were privileged to enjoy a unique Christmas Party at the Davao Medical Center on December 19. The party was organized by Kythe Foundation workers, Xai and Shiena, with some assistance from some organizations and individuals.

Of course, everyone expects a Christmas party to consist of gifts, lots of food and of course lots of fun. There was an abundance of all these, and more.

Initially, the party was planned for pediatric patients (and their parents). But the sufficient donations enabled the organizers to expand the participation to patients in other wards (in fact to three floors).

The party started by giving gifts to pediatric patients in the third floor, then feeding them and their parents with lugaw, ice cream, cotton candy and juice. Janice and I were privileged to serve juice to a long queue of kids and their parents.

With sufficient supply of food and juice, the party overflowed to other charity wards in the second and then the first floor. A sizable number of patients, their "bantay" and hospital workers partook of the party food amidst laughters, smiles and bantering so characteristic of the season's meaning of love and giving.

(I will post pictures as soon as I have the files with me)

Survivors Day at DMC

For the past few years, a day was set aside to celebrate life with pediatric cancer patients at the Davao Medical Center. The day, called Survivors' Day, was done on December 8, 2008. Pediatric cancer survivors gathered for a party, games, food and capped by a mini-concert in the evening. There was a pictorial exhibit intended to heighten awareness on cancer and obtain support to the cancer-related programs of the hospital.

We were privileged to be part of the celebration in our own simple way. It was a joy to see how survivors bonded with each other and how parents, medical workers, groups and individuals join hands to do whatever they can to alleviate the plight of cancer patients.

Obviously, the hospital administration threw its very strong support to the team of pediatric cancer doctors (Drs. Mae Dolendo, Jeannie Ong and Grace Pecson) and other medical workers. Kythe, a private foundation, has a couple of ladies assigned to provide organized care-work. A number of civic organizations and individuals had always been ready to lend never fail to lend support.

John Remembers Yam

A few days after Yam's 13th birthday, her elder brother John remembers her with a blog. John was the stem cell donor to Yam's bone marrow transplant in September 2006. He first made his blood donation to her maternal grandmother in 1998 when he was barely 15. He had been donating blood whenever he can.

John's blog about Yam can be accessed HERE.

Or, you can type this link: http://rjvb.blog.friendster.com/2008/10/thirteen/

Beautiful Memories Can't Fill the Void

Today would have been Yam's 13th birthday. Instead, this day starts the 7th month after she passed away. Yesterday was her 6th month anniversary.

As I woke up this morning, streams of beautiful memories cascaded through my mind and pinched my heart. This day would have started with noisy birthday greetings to our dear "bunso". Since today is a Saturday, we should be endlessly debating on what to do for the rest of the day - where to have a great meal, whether to go to the mall or to the beach or a mountain resort - on top of Yam's usual simple party with her friends.

Last night, Uncle Cito and Aunt Demi emailed from San Diego, California the pictures on this post. It is the jersey of their daughter (my cousin) Liza who joined a full 26-mile marathon to raise funds for a cause. Printing Yam's name on her jersey is a soothing gesture and a loving remembrance to a lost loved one. Printing her name in green - Yam's favorite color - is a bonus.

Memories now flash in torrents, so pleasant, so lovely, so joyful, so beautifully moving - her distinctive laughter, her matchless smirk, inimitable wit and irreplaceable humor, to name a few. They all bounce back and reverberate, so fresh and evergreen. Yet these memories, however pleasant, just couldn't fill the void left by such a loving child.

The void is so stark, one could easily be gobbled up in its emptiness. But in this seeming desolation are flickers of bright light shone by the caring hearts of countless friends and relatives. And in a very special way, friends we gained because of Yam.

We no longer could cuddle our lovely daughter, hear her peals of laughter, laugh at her witty humor, smile at her occasional naughty acts and bask at her small achievements. But we live on, at ease with her memories and the recollection at how much she was loved by lots of caring hearts. Thanks Yam for the beautiful memories, thanks to all our friends and relatives for your love and care.

The void? It makes us whole.